Because Momma is tired and she sometimes needs a break.
No, really. That’s it…
Were you looking for some scientific, statistical or proven fact as to why I don’t bathe my son every night?
You’re not going to find that here.
What you will find is a Mom doing her best (which sometimes doesn’t look all that great), who just wants other Moms to say, “Me too.”
I’m not sure where it all started, to try and act like we are superwomen. It’s a nice thought, and I do believe Mom’s are as strong as ever, and we pack a punch. I do believe we can conquer anything or accomplish the impossible. I do believe we have a chip on our shoulders and we feel the need to constantly prove ourselves.
But this need to constantly prove ourselves to the world has turned into a need to constantly prove ourselves to each other. This was supposed to be a rally cry for us Moms. It was supposed to be an “Us against the world!” mentality. It was supposed to be a team effort…
Instead it’s turned into a competition.
It’s turned into mom-shaming. To guilt trips. To judgments. To the belief that to show any sign of weakness, to show any kind of mistake, to show you don’t feed your child all organic is to admit you have failed.
You don’t have your child in the best day care? You don’t stay at home with him?? You quit your dream job so your partner can work??? You took your dream job so your partner can stay home????
You don’t bathe your child every night??????
How dare you?!
Our false need to have it all, to be perfect, to SHOW. NO. MERCY., has turned us against who we actually need the most.
We need each other, Moms.
We hurt one another when we continue the facade that we can do it all. When we won’t admit we’re tired. When we put out there only the good stuff. When we show only our strengths and never our weaknesses.
When we share only the “you should’s” or the “have to’s” but not the “I’ve been there’s” or the “me too’s.”
That’s when we fail as Moms. That’s when we hurt as Moms. That’s when we lose as Moms.
We lose a competition that was never supposed to be one in the first place.
When you are a Mom, there is no other person in this world that can relate to you more than another Mom. When you are a woman, there is no other person that can relate to you more than another woman.
We have got to have each other’s back. Because no one else will. Not in the same way we would. Not in the same way we could.
On those tough days I’m putting my son to bed when his diet consisted of popcorn for breakfast, half a banana for lunch and fruit snacks for dinner, I don’t need to know how I failed as a Mom that day.
I need to know that you failed too.
When I admit I don’t give my son a bath every night, I don’t need a collective “gasp” from the Mom’s who do.
I need a collective chant, “Momma, you do you.”
When I sometimes let my child watch TV for hours because I’m just so. darn. tired., I don’t need a lecture as to why that’s wrong.
I need the latest and greatest movie ideas to keep this going all day long.
Because you’ve been there.
You’ve done that.
You get it.
After all, you’re a Mom too…
And in the world of Motherhood, there’s a Sisterhood. And Sisters need to stick together…
Let’s stop telling Mom’s why everything they’re doing (or not doing) is wrong, and instead share with them all the ways they are doing it right.
May there always be encouragement rather than judgment.
May there always be a dialogue rather than debates.
If you’re wrong in the way you’re right, you’re wrong even if you’re right. ~ James MacDonald
May there always be love rather than shame.
May there always be a “Sisterhood” in Motherhood.
You do you, Sis. Go get ’em.
P.s. I didn’t give my son a bath tonight…
All together now: “Me too.”