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karen veenstra

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Hello, hi. It’s that time of year I need to send this PSA out to all who know me and may come into contact with me for the next month: The 2019 Yankee Playoff Season begins TONIGHT. So forgive me if I’m like this for the foreseeable future... #YANKEES

Four years ago, I had my Baby Shower for Brooks. It’s strange to me to look at this photo and realize the two beautiful women on the ends are no longer with us. I never questioned they wouldn’t be here to help raise my children alongside my Mom the way they raised me, like a trio. Although my Aunt Vita battled cancer even in this photo, I still believed she’d fight her way through it. And then, of course, my Aunt Rae, who I figured would be well into her 90s outliving everyone like our Grandma, never knowing we’d lose her so suddenly in such a traumatic way. . Both left us way too soon, and it’s just a testament to the reality that life is fragile and short and we truly do not know what will happen one day to the next. And as someone who struggles immensely with anxiety, this is my biggest fear in life. And if I let it, this fear of loss and unknown and bad things happening can absolutely cripple me, paralyze me. It has in the past, especially when I’m not in line with the heart of God. . Looking at the fragility and unpredictability of life, it’s no mistake why Jesus tells us in the Bible to “not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself.” Because He knows just how crippling it is trying to control our tomorrows. It is SO hard for me to live this way and to enjoy the present day as a gift... SO HARD, YOU GUYS. But Jesus asks us to, even commands it. . How hard is it for you? I’m guessing I’m not alone in this! . Love your neighbors. Love your loved ones. Tell them and show them and see them. Today is the only day we have. And that SCARES me, and I don’t have any advice or theological wisdom to share how to not be, because I’m still in the fight of what not being scared of this looks like. But I pray and hope every new day I receive I learn more and more how to give that fear to the only One who can hold the weight of it. . PS. I hate this picture and love this picture at the same time. That about sums it up. Still processing, still crying, still questioning ... But still praying. . 💕

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Recent Blog Posts

The Pirate’s Booty. August 12, 2018
But you’re like, twelve… (This is thirty). June 18, 2018
Can’t wait, Not yet. May 6, 2018

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