When I was a little girl, I had total trust in Santa Claus. I swore by him. I never thought someone was more real. Every Christmas, I wrote out my wish-list and knew all I needed to do was get that list into Santa’s hands. I did not know how Santa went around to every child in the world and delivered gifts in one night and I did not know how he would have all of my gifts ahead of time as he approached our home on Christmas Eve. I simply trusted. I trusted he would deliver. Every time. Every year. All I needed to do was make a list. And not only would I just make a list, I would literally tape it onto our front door… Why? Because naturally if you didn’t have a fire place, why wouldn’t Santa just come through the front door?? I covered all my tracks.
I wish I could be this trusting with God.
As a child, your priorities are always a little skewed. As an adult, though, I still find it easier to get a child to trust in Santa than to trust in God. My goodness, we put a creepy toy elf on a shelf, as it freakishly “moves” from place to place in the middle of the night as if it were alive just to make sure our kids know, Santa is watching!! I don’t recommend this when teaching your child about God…
As you grow older, life alters you. Bad things happen. Life is harder. It’s easier to let the harshness of life get you down. Julia Roberts says it quite poignantly in a classic and one of my favorite films, Pretty Woman,
The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?
I love that line. It’s so simple yet so true.
How many scars do you have from the battles of your life? We are so wounded, aren’t we? It can really ware us down. I wake up in the morning exhausted. Did I even sleep last night? In my own world, I can boil it down to one word: Trust. I do not have enough trust in God. And when you do not have enough trust in God, you are trying to control your life in a way that is unsustainable. Without full trust in God, every day I am fearful. Every day I am anxious. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve gotten down on my knees and said, God, why can’t I simply trust you with my life? What am I doing wrong? I know all the right things, I can say all the right things, but my heart is not where it should be. My heart is idolizing this world, instead of You.
I focus so much on all that I am not and all that I should be doing and all that I should be believing instead of just being. Instead of just finding the little faith that God has already given me. God is screaming, no no, scratch that… God is whispering, I’m right here. As Pastor Steven Furtick says, He whispers because he’s close. He doesn’t have to scream when he’s standing with you.
For me personally, it’s so hard to believe and trust in something that I do not have all the answers to. Of course, I say that now after I have admitted to having full trust in Santa, where I had no basis of an argument on how he could actually be real. But, seeing the world evolve as I’ve grown older, watching life take its harsh blows to the gut, it’s incredibly difficult to have faith and trust in a God who sometimes seems like He’s too busy to love me.
I listened to a sermon this morning called The Total Trust Theory, hence my post title. Which, by the way, you can click on and it will bring you to the video of this message if you’d like to watch it. Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church out of North Carolina spoke of this kind of trust and I just can’t seem to shake some of what he said when he first realized who the kind of God was that he worshiped,
I don’t have all the answers. I never will. But I serve a God who even when the answers aren’t clear, His love for me is.
What an amazing truth. No matter how much I waver, question, doubt, ponder, the flip side is I have a God who NEVER wavers, who NEVER questions, who NEVER doubts, who NEVER ponders, and loves me no matter how far down I fall. This is true for you too. Did you know God loved you? I mean really loved you? No matter how broken you are? I hope this truth is freeing for you.
Furtick goes on to say,
Instead of investing all of my energy in trying to have a faith that I can figure out, I wanna have a faith that holds me fast even when I can’t figure out what I’m facing.
My goal in life is the latter. May I always have a faith that sustains me even when I don’t understand all that is happening in my life. Even when the worst possible storm hits, I pray I know and trust the God who will meet me in it. Because He will.
If I let God, he’ll use my pain to show somebody else purpose in theirs.
If I let God … in other words, if I trust God…
Furtick’s sermon was based on a powerful verse in the Bible that I hope to learn and memorize. It’s a true word of encouragement about who God is and our purpose in Him. The Apostle Paul wrote this in a letter, while in prison no less, having no idea if he would ever get out alive, to a fellow disciple, Timothy… I will end my post on this verse, praying you read it, ponder it, and remember it. The Apostle Paul writes this in 2 Timothy 1:9-14:
9He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, 10 but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel. 11 And of this gospel I was appointed a herald and an apostle and a teacher. 12 That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet this is no cause for shame, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day.
13 What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus. 14 Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you—guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.